Good morning. Thank you for seeing and thank you for your interest. My name is Honoka Miki and I’m doing this fundraiser for the first time for myself. Let me introduce myself: I’m Japanese and I’m 19 years old. I speak Japanese (mother tongue), English and Italian, which I learned as a self-taught speaker. I’m a student at the University of L’Aquila. Studying in L’Aquila is my biggest dream, so I am very happy.
I’m in Japan now because I was very sick in Italy. I was admitted to the SPDC (Psychiatric Service for Diagnosis and Treatment) for 20 days, and they sent me back to Japan for my own good, so I have to cure myself. The uneasiness I had were suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, a lot of fear that I was not able to live peacefully. This uneasiness remained in spite of everything, even if they did their best to help me. My admission to the SPDC really helped me a lot. I am following a psychiatrist in Japan, but I still have these discomforts. So I’m going to start therapy with an Italian psychologist. This money is to follow these sessions.
Let me explain better: I have these discomforts since 2016. I was 14 years old. I went to the psychiatrist in Japan to 2018 because the situation got worse and to cure without psychiatric help was not possible. I took medication, went for so many times (blind once every 2 weeks) but not much changed. I changed psychiatry but it is not helpful and I came back for the psychiatry I am following even now. I went to Italy in 2020 because it’s my dream to study in Italy. But the situation has gotten much worse. Really a lot. Every moment has seemed like an endless torture, to fight the fear that is slowly killing me, for panic attacks, for depression, but above all for the desire to die and commit suicide. This is a very strong impulse that I could not react to. During my stay in Italy, I did self-harm for the first time, fortunately it was not serious. But I try never to do it because I’ve noticed that nothing has changed, on the contrary it’s gotten worse and I’m made to worry about the people who love me. It’s not a healthy solution, but I did it because I was really sick. Now, the Japanese psychiatrist and the Italian psychologist who know my situation, suggested to follow the psychological therapy together with drug therapy that I am doing even now. To change the situation, especially to change for the depth and the root, for the main cause. We believe that we have reached the limit to do the drug therapy.
The psychological therapy, therefore the session with the psychologist, costs a lot. A session would cost 50 euros, even 100 euros. I work as a translator, but because of this discomfort I can’t work much, so it doesn’t help me economically. My parents love me, and I love them too, but they don’t agree to follow the psychologist because according to them the pharmacological one is enough, and I explained but they didn’t understand. So they don’t pay for it, it’s very difficult to make them understand. Besides, I have to follow a lot of time so it costs a lot. If it doesn’t go well, I have to change the psychologist and I have to start from scratch. So, I have to find a psychologist who is right for me, but it’s a long journey. I looked for a psychologist in Japan in attendance, but I didn’t find anyone who is good and can help me with my problem. So I’m looking for one who lives in Italy, so my parents don’t understand that I’m having therapy, etc.
Despite everything, I really want to go back to Italy to continue my studies, meet up with friends, go travelling around Italy, etc. After graduation, I want to work in Italy or go for a master’s degree, however I really want to live there forever. To come back as soon as possible, I have to be well and I have to take care of myself. I have a very big dream: I would like to help earthquake victims by creating a non-profit organisation. Even to create a non-profit organisation, I have to be well. For fairy tales, help me. Even sharing helps me a lot, also because it lets those who are psychologically ill know that they’re not alone. Let’s fight together. With me. For us.
If you want, I could put your name (or nickname) on my site as a donor. This is the site.
If you donated more than one hundred euros and if you want, I could write a letter I write in my hand from Japan.
In any case you can contact me on firstname.lastname@example.org, thanks.
You can donate me using this link. https://gofund.me/5098627e