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I live my life because of who I was yesterday. – Living with mental illness and suicidal thoughts

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blue and white sky with stars psicologia - 心理学 - psycology
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I think everyone has times in their lives when they find life difficult. In my case, the frequency has decreased considerably, but there was a time when it was really difficult. I will write this article while thinking about those days when just being alive and breathing seemed like hard work.

If you are thinking, “I want to die, I want to end my life,” I would be happy if you would read this article to the end. Even if it doesn’t help you at all, it will buy you time. I have experienced that the feeling of being tired is a little easier in 30 minutes. Even if life is hard and painful, there is always a moment when the pain becomes a little easier. I think the standard for that is 30 minutes.

The feeling of “I want to die” can be translated as “It’s painful to live.” If there was a machine that could take all your burdens away, you would use it. That’s the answer. If you can get rid of your suffering, it will lighten your load a little bit, but you can’t (because you’re self-limiting, it seems insoluble, and many other reasons). That’s why I think that death will solve everything… But wanting to die is painful. And in more than 90 percent of cases, it is the effect of a curable disease called mental illness (Source: World Health Organization).

I’m alive now because I don’t want to waste the effort I put into living yesterday. If I lose this battle today, I’m sorry for the way I endured yesterday, and that’s why I’m alive. please remember. The fact that you are here now because you have overcome the night you thought you could not overcome. This is not a miracle or a coincidence, it’s just because you’re working hard, because you’ve been working hard behind the scenes where no one can see you. I don’t understand your pain. Even if no one knows, please don’t end the days you desperately endured. Please don’t forget that you worked hard. “I haven’t done my best yet, and I’m not in a very tough category…” Even if you say that, you’re so cornered that you want to die, so it doesn’t change the fact that you’ve worked hard.

When I was in high school, I had the opportunity to give a speech in English that everyone has days when they want to die,'' but my homeroom teacher denied it and said,I have never wanted to die.” They said. I was shocked. At least the homeroom teacher has never been cornered to that extent. Or that you had a desire to die but had to keep it hidden – but perhaps it was the former in most cases.

I do not want anyone to experience this pain. This is because I know best that it is something that cannot be expressed in words, and that it is difficult to understand. And I sincerely hope that the pain you have will go away as soon as possible.

However, I firmly believe that if you worked hard and lived through yesterday, you will surely be able to get out of this darkness. Please do not extinguish the light within you. You absolutely have the power to get out of this darkness. It’s not that people with mental illness or mental difficulties are weak, it’s that they’ve endured so much. I look forward to seeing you again.

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